If I Don’t Cut Myself Short, I’ll Ramble for Hours…

The short version of the story is that we got the house.

The slightly longer version of the story is that ​we signed the paperwork in the zero hour. I got a call on Friday at 5:15 that I needed to hustle out to the west side of town to sign paperwork and transfer title. I fought Friday rush hour gridlock (it’s called 480 because it’s mean FOR me to DRIVE 80). I had to wire the down payment on Monday morning.

​But it’s ours. We own this thing, this strange piece of real property. It’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever owned, and the loan is more than what Charlie and I took out for 8 years of combined undergrad, plus 4 years of his master’s degree.

The next month and a half before we move (since Charlie cannot leave his lease until June) is going to be full of hole-patching, wall-painting, appliance-installing, and bathroom cleaning. At some point, I do need to get serious about packing my things and thinking about hiring a moving company. If I can at all avoid it, I’m going to rent a mid-sized UHaul to take all of my boxes (that don’t get moved on weekend trips) and then have professional movers move all of my big furniture. You can kiss my grits if you think I’m moving a queen-sized sleigh bed.​

Office Coffee

​At some point, as a responsible adult, one must buy life insurance. With a new house, now is that time for Charlie and I. It wasn’t terribly inconvenient to get the application started and the medical appointment scheduled.

The blood draw is no sweat for me (two courses of Accutane and blood draws, ahoy!) The part I was a little worried about was the urine speciment portion of the exam. Providing a sample wasn’t an issue, so much as carting it from the restroom in the lobby to the conference I’d reserved for myself. They were on opposite sides of a large lobby flanked by magnet-lock doors. That’s a lot of opportunity for to run into someone while I’m carrying my own pee from one place to another.

So, I got clever and snagged one of the disposable coffee cups and lids to conceal the specimen. Anyone I ran into would think I just had a cup of coffee, no sweat! I made it both to and from the lobby bathroom without incident, everything safely concealed. Good to go.​

I tried not to break my arm patting myself on the back so hard.​​

I had leftovers from the exam, and I had to dispose of them. I opted to take my faux coffee back to the ladies restroom inside the locked area of the office, and throw it out there. It seemed like the best idea at the time.

It’s a long walk from the conference rooms to the ladies room. Early mornings in the office mean a limited chance to run into anyone milling the halls, and often, I’m not terribly chatty, so I didn’t worry too much about getting stopped.​ Everything would be fine.

​Except that one of my colleagues needed to stop me to confer about some business we had together. I cannot tell you how weird it is to talk shop with someone over a cup of your own pee.