I have managed to surround myself with people who are just as silly as me. I consider myself extremely lucky.
Without further ado, I present a legitimate conversation K and I had last night.
K: I sleep in a king-sized bed and I still have no room! This cat!
Me: Give her a firm shove.
K: You never wake a sleeping cat!
Me: I woke a high, sleeping cat not 30 minutes ago.
K: You bitch!!
Me: That was pretty much the reaction I got, yes.
K: I’m calling the APL.
Me: From someone who starves their cat? They’d hardly believe you.
K: It’s true. Bear probably called them twice today.
Me: You let her use the phone? You’re raising her to be entitled.
K: Only in emergencies.
For the record, Bear is a notorious liar about the status of the fullness of her belly. When I was staying with K while she was recovering from minor surgery, Bear conned us into giving her two breakfasts….