June 14, 2012

On Monday, my internet friend’s mom passed away, and she had the courage, grace and strength to write about it today.

I have never met Lara in real life, but she has been delightful, and funny, and so supportive to someone she had  never even met. She gave me her cell phone number and invited — openly and honestly– to counsel me when I finally decided that I could not fight the anxiety and depression I had suffered with for more than half of my life by myself anymore.

I don’t know that that conversation alone saved my life, but it was one of many that I had in that really dark time that did. And I cannot express how much I appreciated that she would avail herself like that to me. I’m glad that it gave me the opportunity to tell Lara in a more personal way than Twitter that I was so, so sorry to hear about her mom.

My heart is breaking wide open for her.

I know too many people in my life who are at or around my age who have lost a parent, and I look at all of us and think, It’s too soon; we’re too young. We’re not ready for this part of life. It’s just not fair.

But we don’t really get a choice in this matter, though, do we?

I’ve been given an incredible gift, twice. My father is a cancer survivor. My father in law has survived a terrible brain cyst that has indelibly left its mark on the family forever in big ways and small ways. And though we get frustrated with the changes it has made in our families, we are so lucky we have a chance to spend more time with our parents.

I must do better to treasure that more than I do.

My grandmother said that tears cleanse the soul. I’ve been doing a lot of soul-cleansing this evening.

One thought on “June 14, 2012

  1. Oh Julia, you’re incredible. Thank you so much for this. So many people who have lost a parent have reached out to me… I guess like I reached out to you since I too have battled issues with depression and anxiety. It’s all so tough and scary and it’s just nice to know that someone else really gets what you’re going through.
    Getting to this age/stage in our lives is the worst. A friend my age is now fighting cancer. Unbelievable.
    Yes… hold your family closer.
    Thank you, you sweet sweet lady!

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