March 13, 2010

On Wednesday of this week, I went in and had Lasik surgery.

The decision came after 10 years of glasses originally intended to facilitate far-distance vision, and slowly integrated the correction of my astigmatism.  For 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for nearly ten years, I was a glasses-wearer.

There were some people who had never seen me without glasses.

I couldn’t wear contacts without a lot of irritation because of astigmatism and an eye infection in 2006.  I also wasn’t satisfied with transitions lenses, and I didn’t like the idea that I could be jetskiing with prescription lenses on and lose them.  The more I thought about it, the better Lasik looked.  Even with the costs involved, the expense would be a one-time expense with a lifetime guarantee.  The only thing scary about Lasik was the price.

Now here I am, a few days removed from the surgery, putting drops in my eyes on a rigorous schedule to reduce inflammation, reduce the risk of infection, and to maintain lubrication.  I’m forbidden from wearing eye makeup for the next few days, and discouraged from any strenuous physical activity that will cause me to squint and put strain in the incision in my corneas.

I am now free of the necessity of glasses – I can see perfectly clearly without my glasses.

To be honest, I feel a little naked.

The funny thing is, I never saw myself as a person who wore glasses – not that I have a problem with people who wear glasses (more power to Tina Fey, and Rachel Maddow, whose glasses are a part of their signature looks), but it wasn’t part of my self-image.

In my smoking cessation class, we were counseled that every time we give something up, every time we stop doing something, we feel a sense of loss.  I still have my glasses sitting on my nightstand, even though I will never wear them again.

I think that it will take a little time to admit that a part of me (that I didn’t realize I was, even) is gone.  That change can be a wonderful advantage towards new opportunities, but is a change all the same.