Put Pen to Paper, Spell out ‘Eliza’…

Despite trying to attend college for visual arts, I have always felt that my best media has been the written word (despite what this blog might indicate otherwise).  I’ve always found it a lot easier to mold a series of words into a message of deeper meaning than making paint, clay, steel, or ink bend to my will.

As the product of a function which factors in the massive amount of “heady” podcasts and audiobooks that I am reading, I feel the deep pull to reconnect with my art.  I’m constantly speaking to myself in my head, describing in literary detail my impressions of the world around me, telling myself stories.

A lack of maturity was my first impediment to my writing, not forcing myself to sit and write regularly, and taking a scholarly approach to it.  But switching so drastically from art to business stoked the fire of my perfectionism, and I grew paralyzed with fear that the first words I put to paper would not be perfect. How could I reconcile my art side with my business side?

Again, with this “Age of Saturn” stuff, where the path is being made clear.  I have come to appreciate and love the art of language and literature, but I certainly didn’t have the maturity or the drive to make anything of it.

The best way to get good at a craft is practice – over and over.  In a reflection of filling out 2009’s end-of-the-year survey, I came to realize that I was heartened that I had kept some track of my year, but disappointed that I didn’t keep quite the track that I wanted to.  So, my exercise through the year is to not only recount the year, but to keep practicing the craft.  Perhaps some entries will become the base of bigger essays.  Perhaps not.  At any rate, it’s important to me to keep the plasticity of my artists brain in good shape.

I’m curious to compare 2010’s end-of-the-year survey with 2009’s and see what happens from a literary standpoint.

Title Inspiration: Song for Myla Goldberg, the Decemberists

Saying Goodbye is Hard to Do

Like a bad boyfriend, I cannot completely “break up” with cigarettes.  Sure, I said that it was a great run, and once upon a time, we were really happy together.  But we just didn’t have the spark we used to – so we called it quits.  But I have to call up the ex and revisit the relationship.

I can’t just tell my company that I quit smoking; I have to go through a program to show how serious I am about quitting (which, frankly, I think the whole “anti-smoking system” is bullshit, but that’s another entry for another time).  This is a sort of “smokers anonymous” program over the phone that walks participants.  As a non-smoker of 12 weeks, though, none of this class applies to me.

But, the insurance company has me by the grapes, and if I want the surcharge removed, I have to successfully complete the program.  Seeing as all of this material is remedial, I’ve decided it’s much more entertaining to “people watch”.  I’m very preoccupied trying to figure out where the other participants are from, what they do for a living, if one of the others in the groups works for the same company, but in another part of the US.

Tonight and next Tuesday are the last two nights of the program.  I doubt that I will ever again think about the program or the participants, but I am rooting for the one guy who has been outwardly “meh” about the program – I hope he succeeds this time.