Keep On Keepin’ On

I wrote about getting in shape, and how I was going to some leg work to starting the process.  Oy, did that ever not happen, but Rich gave me a reference for a friend of his in Cleveland who does some personal training work, so I have to follow up on that.  Until them, I’m going to try and get all of my measurements in this weekend, and maybe set up an at-home program and a plan.

Project 365 is going well, but it’s only been three days, and it’s really hard to fall off the wagon when you’re three days into a goal (unless we’re talking about physical fitness, and then I can’t even get one day into it).  I’m also discovering that I need to either buy or make a light tent.  I made one light tent already – but my mother, who told me to put it where I did to protect it, ended up busting through it like a football team through a banner at the homecoming game.  Buying a pre-made light tent, however, seems ridiculous because a lot of the prices are completely obscene.

I finally got the tuition thing squared away, so I won’t have to put a semester of graduate school on my credit card, and I might even be able to get my company to pay for some of the cost in the future.

The birthday went splendidly.  I got all kinds of things that I wanted, spent time with my family, and The Boy is taking me to Steak on a Stone tomorrow for birthday dinner.  At one point in my life, there was a somewhat ill-fated Melting Pot incident in which I swore I would never go to another restaurant where I had to cook my own food.  But, I love me some steak, and it’s a lot harder to mess up cooking steak than poaching raw meat.  At Steak on a Stone, the waiters bring out a rocket-hot stone, a slab of meat, and you cook your steak on that stone until it’s done to your liking.  In the famous words of one of my favorite co-workers, "What could possibly go wrong?"

I hope there’s no birthday trip to the burn unit this year.

Project 365

Your year-long photo album will be an amazing way to document your travels and accomplishments, your haircuts and relationships. Time moves surprisingly fast.

An age that I have been really looking forward to – for whatever reason – is 26. I just feel as though I will actually feel as old as I am; that I will really feel like an adult. In some way, that’s true: I will have been able to drive for ten years, smoke for eight, drink for five and rent a luxury car for one. I will be out of the early 20’s I was still considered too young to know any better, but I’m still young enough that I can be “upwardly mobile youth” with fresh ideas and energy to spare.

But, I have an entire year to wait for my perceived “golden age”, and I feel as though I were having a quarter-life (if I can be so lucky that I’m only now reaching a quarter-life) crisis. This isn’t where I thought I would be in my life. In the immortal words of Val-Kilmer-cum-Doc-Holliday, “There is no such thing as a ‘normal life’, there’s just life. You get on with it.”

So, am I disappointed? In some ways – frankly – yes, I’m very disappointed; but at the same time, all of a sudden, I’m coming into my own, I am finding the confidence in myself do the things that make me happy, and cultivate relationships that are important, nurturing, and fun. Options for where I want to take my life have been presenting themselves. These are options that may not have even come to be without the unsaid events that have been my disappointments.

Even though I’m going to be only 25, in some ways, I just feel very, very old: I feel like I’m too old to go back to school, I’m too old to start on a “career path”, I’m too old to like certain things, I’m too old to get into really decent physical shape. I’m panicking, because I’m too young to feel this “left behind”.

In an effort to face my fears, to confront these issues, I have decided that I need to capture the “year I feel ‘old’” up until “the age I can’t wait to be”; so for an entire year, I’m going to participate in Project 365 and capture an entire year in pictures.

StyckyWycket Project 365

Physical Fitness

I know that I listed some physical fitness goals in my 101, but I will be upfront in saying that all those things I put in my list…yeah, I didn’t do any of them. In the entire year since the list’s inception, I haven’t even been on the treadmill. Not once.

I’m a person that craves structure. I literally do not know what to do without a list, without a plan, without a goal. If you give me a day off, there is a really, really good chance that I will do one of two things: I’ll spend the day watching TV, or I will spend the day cleaning the color out of the furniture.

For a while, I’ve been kicking the idea back and forth for a while that I needed a real-deal, serious plan for improved physical fitness. At CSU, I have to climb no less than three flights of stairs to get from the parking lot to the classroom. I was dying when I hit the top of the stairs and ran into the professor, who wanted to chit-chat with me, and I couldn’t breathe enough to talk. That was rather embarrassing.

I do know that I like to track the progress of things, so in some way, I’m going to have to create baselines, graphs comparing means and my progress, calculate BMI’s and endurance, and blah blah blah blah blah… I’m going to have to nerd my jock up, basically.

As a solution, I’ve enrolled on Gyminee, which I really like. When you enroll for a free account, you can track your weight, your measurements, your nutrition, your workouts; you can sign up for challenges, get gym buddies, and post on the message boards. I like the accountability factor. I’m going to spend this weekend getting set up and doing my research, and starting Monday, working on my fitness.

I’m not really sure on all of the details yet: I’ve never paid close enough attention to being physically fit to know how I’m supposed to approach this. In the past, I’ve been like the Brian Regan bit, and someone’s walking by, telling me to get out of the painter’s scaffolding.

I’m thinking that quitting smoking might be imperative, too. Which is a bummer – I’m not ready yet.