Gray Christmas

I’m still experiencing some pain and swelling, so I took my boss’s kind gesture and took the day off.  I feel just crappy enough when I’m not on medication that I would be completely distracted at work, and if I’m on drugs, I can’t drive and therefore, can’t be at work.  So, I’m sitting at home watching The X-Files mini-marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel.

I was thinking about how “behind” I am this year on Christmas gifts, and also what “behind” means this year in these economically conservative times.  I went completely overboard last year buying gifts, as it was the first year that I had any money with which to buy gifts.  And really, I haven’t experienced any additional economic stress this season than any other, I just don’t have the energy to look all over Hell’s Half-Acre for the “perfect” gift.  So, I’m really just planning on keeping it to the bare minimum this year.

I feel a little let-down about the season.  Perhaps, given all of the stuff that I’ve been through in the last two weeks, I’m just having a hard time getting into the swing of it.  But I always have these fantasies about how this holiday is going to be the one where I play the Christmas music, make the cookies, send the cards, buy the gifts.  But right now, I just can’t get into it.

I plan on working on the Secret Santa slips for work this afternoon.  Maybe if I take this season one day, on step at a time, I’ll get to the point where I’m feeling engaged with the season.