Now I Have One of Those Near-Miss Stories…

Had I left my in-laws house when I usually do, I could have been killed in this accident. I usually hit that section of 480 at the time the accident occurred.  Apparently, according to this article, the victim’s wife was two cars behind her husband when she witnessed his death.

I missed the accident by about an hour, and the police closed the highway at the exit before where the accident occurred.  I remember seeing a wall of blue and red lights as I was coming across the Valley View bridge and thinking that there was an accident at the end of the bridge, and they were only letting one lane pass.  But, they diverted us off the highway after sitting on the Valley View bridge for about 20 minutes. I then spent another 30 minutes wandering around Garfield and Bedford Heights trying to get back to the highway.

I am certainly not annoyed that they got us off the highway, but I am frustrated that every time I have to get off the highway because they close off a section, they don’t offer guidance for getting back on to the highway.  I don’t know the areas of Garfield and Bedford Heights at all; I was lucky that I found Rockside Road, which I know merges into another highway I use to get home.

I rolled in at about 2 in the morning, to which I encountered both of my parents waiting up for me (whee).  I tried to tell them part of the reason I was home late, which sounded lame even to me.  In the morning, I showed my mother the article, and she tried to guilt-trip me about being out so late; to which I had to reply, “If I had left at the normal time, I could have been the one who was killed. (I don’t think that’s going to change anything, though.)

Think Before You Drunk-Dial, a PSA

I had a hard Saturday night.  My ex and I took the public train downtown to bar hop with his cousin and friend.  In addition to public intoxication, public indecency (a long story), and general mischief, I made a complete ass of myself.  Let’s just say that I way overdid it and I need to lock my phone before I get to the alcohol-reasoning point of though that drunk-texting-and-dialing is a good idea.

That was way bad.

Yesterday, I was going to do my taxes, and as I was looking for my W2 from [Retail Job], I realized that it was gone, inducing a huge panic and near-meltdown.  I’ve had to call [Retail Job], and learn that because I am a non-active employee, I have to pay for a new W2, and I’ve had to file extension paperwork.  What a pain in my ass.  At least I’ve learned my lesson, and The Boy and I will be filing our taxes with our “people”.

On top of this, I was supposed to meet my friend (and Mary Kay rep) on the West side of town and go to the in-laws for Sunday Night Dinner(TM).  I’m not sure whether it was the stress, the smoking/drinking the night before, The Boy’s cold, or what, but I am now fighting my own bug.  Again.  This is the third time in three months that I’ve been sick.  I woke up this morning feeling like Hot Death, made worse by taking a bunch of vitamins, supplements, and cold medicine on an empty stomach.  Now, I just have this awful run-down feeling, and I’m not looking forward to going to work tomorrow.

I was talking about looking forward to coming out of March and going into April, for the basic reason that I would be getting my bearings back.  Slowly, I’m coming back on track.  Of course, me regaining my equilibrium is not without it’s price, as per usual: I’m engaging in my discomforting compulsions: things have to be organized (or I get anxious), I have to write every bit of minutia in my head down or I forget (I’m non-functional without my scraps of paper and lists), purging (not food, but objects).  The upside is that my base emotional level is higher than it used to be, so at least I’m not melancholy.  I’m just spending my time searching out the equilibrium and feeling a little isolated.  But, things are looking up; instead of fighting my compulsions this time, I’m going to give in to them – at least they aren’t self-destructive.

Week in Review

The week in review, because I have no real focus for a blog entry of meaning:


It’s really sad, but I have no recollection of what I did on Monday. I know that I went to work, but I don’t remember what I did after work. I think it was something, because I know that on Wednesday, I was happy to be at home and doing nothing. I think I did something.

I take it back: I know what I did. I went out with my ex-boyfriend (high school “sweetheart”) to the bar because I was bored. We went to a local-ish bar that was mid-way between us.

He and I had nothing less than a completely fucked-up relationship while we were dating: there was a lot of angst, I was very unhappy, but didn’t know what to do, and I spent a lot of time either cheating on him or thinking about cheating on him. I’m not saying that I’m proud of either of these things; I’m just giving you a framework for our past. When we broke up at the beginning of my college career, he and I became estranged (which was really the best thing for both of us, given how we broke up) for about five years. He and I both did some growing up, and now have a casual friendship that is deeply embedded with history, but does not revolve around it.

I also went back to his house to sit with his parents: the people at one time in my life I thought were going to by my in-laws. In some ways, it was like things had never changed, but there was the comfort (if that’s the right sentiment) that things had changed – for the good. I got to drink a beer while I was there, and I can say that I got to be the me that I am now: funny, charming, more confident, happier. It was nice, but I kept my pending nuptials quiet: I didn’t really see the point of going through all of that.


Tuesday is my night to go visit The Boy, who has his master’s classes. I’ve been keeping semi-track of what’s going on on American Idol, but that’s only because my mother-in-law has to watch so she has something to talk about in the teacher’s lounge. This saddens me: I realize that the work day can be super-heavy, and you need an outlet. But really? American Idol results? What happened to the days of talking about the latest book you read? People don’t read anymore.

[The Pretty Twin] rented No Country for Old Men, so we watched that, and I loved it. Up against movies like Juno and There Will Be Blood, I’m not sure if it should have won the Oscar for best movie, but I can tell you that it will end up in The Boy’s and my movie collection. I liked that it was high-intensity, and we all had a cinematic critique of it afterwards.

It seems that lately, The Boy and I have been doing a lot of movies lately. On Sunday-Night-Dinner (which is also a theme in our long-distance relationship), we watched Trainspotting, which is another one of my favorite movies of all time, but like No Country for Old Men and Brokeback Mountain, is mentally draining for me, and I can only see it maybe twice a year. As far as in-theater movies are concerned, I think we’re going to wait for Stop-Loss to hit the dollar theater; I’m not sure what we are doing for rentals, though. I don’t have anything that I’m burning to see again.


Wednesday was a slow day, as far as after-work is concerned. I wanted to go out, but I had no one to go with. I did try to do some reading; I went back to Paint it Black, but reading it hits too close to home in the sense that reading the words is like a relationship I have with someone. It visits and revisits the most painful situation to where you feel like you’re sitting in the belly of a snake as you’re being digested slowly in acid. I just couldn’t take the navel-gazing, so the book is going to sit on my shelf for a while.


I got a bikini wax on Thursday. All I have to say about that is: fucking ow! My waxer was so professional, though, and I couldn’t have asked for a better experience from that perspective.

A co-worker wanted a new briefcase, and since he seems to appreciate finely-made things, I suggested that we hit the Coach outlet and look for briefcases. It was something of a bust: I think he got sticker-shock, and I wasn’t in any particular mood to spent $29 on a change purse, so we meandered in and out of a few outlets before we left and got some dinner and drinks.


Friday is Date Night for me and The Boy. This week’s date was shopping at TJ Maxx (I bought a paperweight for my desk, three pairs of pants, and two shirts), eating at Baker’s Square, and home watching TV. Boring, but true.


I got up this morning, went tanning, bought some face wash, came home, and I’ve been parked in front of the computer ever since. I was supposed to do some forensic accounting to reverse-engineer a new budget for clearing my debt, but I got bored with that pretty quick. I really need to sit down and do this.

I also need to clean my room, my bathroom, and do my taxes. I don’t know if I’ll get to these things either.

I’m going downtown tonight with the same ex as mentioned on Monday, and don’t have anything in particular planned for that. You might hear about it tomorrow.