November 4, 200+

I’m sitting with a cat crammed in my lap, between my sternum and the edge of my desk, doing circles to get comfortable, not unlike what I assume it is like to be with fetus (Jesus Christ, child, there is not enough room for you to do that backflip to a round-off to impress the Russian judge).

Well, here’s a list of things accomplished in my bathroom so far:

  • New shower installed (by an actual plumber),
  • Flooring ripped out,
  • New lighting installed.

Note: most of this room is going to look nicely Pottery Barn: whitewashed wood, gray walls (Behr’s “Gentle Rain”), antiqued-looking finishes. But the lighting is like a flexible track lighting with halogen bulbs. This lighting would look amazing in a gallery, or a mod office, or a studio. But not in a Pottery-Barn-esque bathroom. The light is too cold for a bathroom, too blue. That, and the way one of the bulbs is placed, you’re going to burn yourself a bald spot when you’re doing some of your natural functions.

Like I said, it’s cool lighting, but not for this room.

Here’s a list of things that are not done, or in the process:

  1. Paint the walls,
  2. Nail in the beadboard,
  3. Install the heater,
  4. Install a floor,
  5. Install a vanity,
  6. Install a toilet
  7. Tile the shower.

I want this shit done: yesterday. I have a shower, oh yes, but I have no sink, and no toilet. I need to call Mike Rowe up in this piece, because I have a veritable poo-hole in the floor that would do Dirty Jobs some justice. Best part? No new toilet for at least a week.

I’m so put-upon. You people have no idea.