This is what my life with The Boy is like sometimes: but I say it in a good way, because he and I both have sat on the phone and said, “Jesus God, you’re fucking boring”. Nothing like a lolcat to be the Freud of a relationship.
In addition, The Boy lost his job, and neither of us knew where we were going to end up. Despite both of us having a very strange karma that turns out well, it turns out well in the zero hour usually. I’m very surprised that he recovered so quickly. He technically was unemployed for about a week and a half.
And then I lost my computer. I lost the brain that I had for seven years. It sustained me through the end of high school and all the way through college. I has suffered a meltdown in the past, but I was always able to recover. But the weird thing about it was that I rally just gave up on it. I said, “Fuck it, I have a grownup-person job, I’ll just buy another one.” And in a strange sense, I, who is always paranoid about spending money, even down to buying only appetizers when the office goes out to lunch, bought a laptop after test-driving one that belonged to my friend. And I haven’t looked back. It’s going to take a couple of pay periods to pay for it, but I still feel like this is mine. This is my second big purchase; and while I know I’ll be making more, this one feels very good.
I worked last night at [Retail Job], and it was weird that I was comforted by the familiarity of it. I’m just glad that I don’t have to rely on this job to pay my student loan and life expense bills. There’s a certain part of me that’s just glad that I have that stability and predictability.
So, for a while, I’m going to work to get my stability back, as well as a rhythm back to my life. Soon enough, and it’ll take baby steps, but I’m looking forward to having a real, grownup-person’s life.