Friday’s Feast

Friday’s Feast for Friday, May 11, 2007

Tell about a time when you had to be brave.

Job hunting.

Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?

There are none. Everything looks lame.

Name an item you try to always have on hand.

Feminine hygiene products.

Main Course
Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it!


On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you?

Um, 2 religious. I hate organized religion, but I give myself a 6 spiritual because I like a lot of the ideas that a lot of religions have.

The Boy and His Prizes

There has been a tradition in Madre and Padre’s house of “prizes”, which are little tokens that you give amongst the family “just because.”� I think that it originates from Grandma Gauchat’s house and the three boys would leave with brown-paper sacks full of snacks/candy/various sundry things to entertainment.� Once, Madre complained that they boys were too old for their goody-bags, and obstinant-Grandma-Gauchat’s response was, “The hell they are!”

And so, I’ve succumbed to giving prizes when I see neat things for The Boys.� I once bought them all lighters in their corresponding colors: The Boy got a red one, Edward Norton-Twin got one in blue, and Abercrombie-Twin got one in green.� I think they all lost their lighters, but it’s truly the thought that counts.

Anyway, The Boy had a unique name for 1981, and when he was growing up, Madre always had a hard time finding prizes with his name on them.� In recent years (about the last five or so), The Boy’s name has regained popularity, and all of a sudden, things that are personalized to his name are everywhere.� [My name, however, is still always the less-formal spelling of which; which I answer to, but I don’t specifically go by.]

Near to my house is a Drug Mart, which is something of a purveyor of crap.� Like, this place sells some of the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen.� But, they purvey a lot of personalized crap, so every time I go, I look to see what they have.� Sometimes, notepads; sometimes photo-frame keychains; sometimes pen-and-pencil sets.� I always check to see if they have The Boy’s name.

Today, I bought The Boy a prize: his name, on a magnet.

I like buying him prizes.

My Obsession with Internet Memes

pronounced : meem

I don’t know what it is, besides just being easier than providing a narrative of my life, but I like filling them out.

Here you can find a listing of a ton of different memes. The one that I’m working on today is one that’s all “OMG CREDITWH0RZ”. And, since I like to be subversive, I’m not going to join, but I am going to credit back to the source. My blog is an internet nobody anyway, so who cares if I join or not?

The Monday Melee

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

The need that some people need to treat people who are waiting on them like absolute shit. People, in general, suck. I used to think that humanity was inherently good, but I’m seeing more and more evidence to the contrary.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Don’t ever buy jewelry from department stores. It’s shittily made, it’s pretty non-unique, and the markup is completely insane.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

My mother’s attitude towards my impending wedding.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

I don’t know how to answer this one. Seriously. Pass.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

No one is afraid of introducing me to people: I’m very good at being charming, friendly, and put-together.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

A new job.


Friday’s Feast

Friday’s Feast for Friday, May 4, 2007

Name something you would not want to own.

An infant. A child. A teenager.

Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

Thick, but fine. Wavy. Mousy brown, reddish undertones, blond highlights. Bangs, layers, upper-back length.

Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

I’ll never forget to leave the house without underwear.

Main Course
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

Ugh, none. If I had to be a celebrity for one day, I’d be my own celebrity.

Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

I am high maintenance and love to get dirty.

Overheard at [Retail Job]

A few days ago, maybe in relation to this post, The Boy asked me what turned me on.

Without hesitation, I said cowboys. Long before the phenom that was Brokeback, I had a…thing for cowboys. Don’t ask me why, don’t ask me how, but when I see a Stetson, Reistol, or Renegade by Bailey, I get a little turned on. It’s why I aggressively forced The Boy to buy a $15 imitation cowboy hat from the Cuyahoga County Fair. Next to Carson Kressley’s book on male fashion, it’s been one of the best investments in my relationship.

I tell you that story to tell you this story. I apparently get the same turned-on feeling from Tommy cologne. And, even worse, it apparently doesn’t matter which gender is wearing it. My very female co-worker likes to wear men’s cologne (which is apparently a new trend in fashion, but cool); she of course, was wearing Tommy as scent-du-jour today. She’d walked by my for about the 33rd time today and I’d finally had enough.

“[Co-Worker], get the hell away from me! You are about three feet from a girl-on-girl experience!”

She switched to Nautica, which to me has no smell. If I don’t get sued for sexual harassment at this job before I quit, it’ll be no small miracle.

[Sidenote: Don’t ever Google “cowboy” looking for pictures to accentuate your post. You will inevitably be inundated with some of the weirdest interpretation of “cowboy” ever.]