Now that I’m an Adult, Here Come “The Big Questions”

Some days, when I was in Ashland, and when I look at Facebook photos of people who live in Ashland, there is nothing that I want more than to have a quiet life, in the country, out of the way, just enjoying life for what it is, and appreciating the simplicity.

But then there are days, when I am here, when I am home, and I see the women at Nordstrom’s, driving their Mercedes and BMWs and Lexus(s), and I want a high-powered, career life with nice clothes and a nice car, and a nice house.

I don’t know how to reconcile both. I don’t know where the comfortable mix is. And it’s harder since I got engaged. Do I take the easy way out and find a job at an office and get married and live prospectively, in Ashland (or Medina) forever? Or, do I wait to schedule a date for the wedding until I’ve gotten midway through my graduate studies, and hope that I can balance my aspiring career with that of The Boy’s? Who makes concessions for who?

I just don’t know.

Where I Now Talk About all the Things I Didn’t Do

I’ve been bad.
I still haven’t finished my application for graduate school. And the time draws nigh, seriously.

Of course, all of the verbal self-ass-kicking does nothing to get it done. I really just need to say, “Do you want to be homeless?” which will get me closer to getting it done. I was surfing Facebook today and lamenting how all of my “friends” are doing cool shit in other countries, or in graduate school already. I’m trying to realize that everyone goes at their own pace, but my realization of my envy just goes to show that the goals I state I have are not the goals I really want. The only way to achieve them is to start doing things.

So, I have my list of things to do written down and since I have another day off tomorrow, I’m going to fucking do them.� Seriously, how hard is it to mail Christmas cards?� If I wait any longer it’s going to be New Year’s.

And I’m going to set my alarm tomorrow.

Janet Fitch, who wrote White Oleander, has a new book out, called Paint it Black. I’m hoping that she’s not just coming off of the theme from White Oleander, and this one has equally as much merit, and isn’t just White Oleander 2. She has an amazing writing style, though, so hopefully, even though the plot seems a lot like WO, the writing will carry some of the weight.

I am reading The Nanny Diaries, which, pardon my blantant lack of knowledge on chic lit, is a lot like The Devil Wears Prada. I never read TDWP, but I did like the movie (which means I can’t ever read the book); and I’m assuming The Nanny Diaries is a tale of similar ilk. We’ll see. My brain has needed an escape route from the real world, so anything is an improvement.

In other news, I’m not going back to [Framing Job]. My boss called and said that she didn’t need me tomorrow, which was the first time I was scheduled in two weeks. So, she’s found someone else to take my place, which is fine by me. I was tired of not having an assured schedule and facing her “disappointment” when I wouldn’t drop everything or not have a life so that I could work. It’s just better this way. I’m not disappointed.

So, tomorrow: get up (decent hour); get showered, made up, dressed; finish my Christmas cards, and write the drafts for my letter of intent and applications for fellowship/associateship money.

Please someone make me accountable.

A List of Today’s Accomplishments

Two posts in a day, huzzah!

Things I did today, that I am proud of.

  • Cleaned my room
    • dusted
    • vaccuumed
    • laundry
    • emptied the garbage can
  • Cleaned my bathroom
    • scrubbed the ring out of the toilet (rusty well water)
    • picked up the clothing
    • emptied the garbage can
    • vacuumed the rug
  • Took care of my finances
    • balanced my checkbook
    • added my Chase card to my list of accounts on Microsoft Money
    • added my [Retail Job]’s charge card to my list of accounts on Microsoft Money
    • thinking about purchasing an upgrade for Microsoft Money (seeing as in the near future I’ll be getting a real job and combining my finances with another person)
  • Got a haircut — it’s actually cute and works well for me. I got my bangs trimmed and a lot of layers put in. When I get a better picture of it, I’ll post it. Right now, I think my face looks fat in the picture my dad took. I’ll work on it. I’d wanted a haircut that was mature, and fairly easy to manage, and I think it worked out.
  • Returned a bottle of shampoo I was never going to use.
  • Exchanged a set of hoop earrings for studs to re-establish the four holes in my ears. This had been a problem because I wanted to wear all of my earrings again, but I wanted something simple that didn’t make me look like white trash. I think the compromise went well. Let’s hope I don’t lose the backs on all of these earrings like I’ve done in the past.

I’m working on a new layout. Hopefully, I’ll find something soon.

I Can’t Seem to Stop Talking about NaBloPoMo

Wow, as soon as there aren’t prizes involved, I’m nowehere to be seen. Which just goes to show you: dangle me a carrot and I’ll jump through flaming hoops for you.

No, but seriously, I’ll put up a post to something similar to a NaBloPoMo ilk.

1) I wanted to name this blog something like “24/7/365, sometimes 366”, but that sounds too trite. And it would have been false advertising because God knows about my lackluster posting. I’m still trying to think of a pithy title. I have the pithy username, even if, in fact, it is spelled wrong.

2) My subscription to Real Simple is about to expire. I know this because in the last two weeks, I’ve been sent 6 letters letting me know that this is so. I know it sounds lame, but I don’t think that I have $24 to spare, seeing as I’ve signed up for a necessary class at Tri-C, and this is the first time I’m paying for my education up-front, and all by myself. So, I think that I’m going to let it expire. …Much to my sadness.

But let’s face it: as organized as I tried to be (in my home-making skills and elsewhere), the only real time that I read Real Simple was when I was waiting for my shower to warm up. Which is not to say that it’s a bad magazine: it’s probably my favorite magazine ever. I just have a hard time sitting down to read a magazine, due in no small part to the fact that I don’t have the money to be as organized as they suggest, nor am I a homemaker for the family.

3) I’m getting my hair cut again today. I’m not entirely sure what to do. I want long hair, but I don’t really do anything with it. So, I want a haircut that is more sophisticated, and has more body, but I don’t want anything to extreme. I wish that someone would send me in to What Not to Wear, so that not only do I get a haircut I have no control over, I also get a new wardrobe (which, I feel that I am sorely in need of). I want to tell my hairstylist, “Um…go nuts. I want body, I want sophistication, but I don’t want insanely short.”

Which is probably what clients say to piss off their hairstylists.

4) Since becoming engaged, I may have spent 4 hours seeing The Boy, and about 4 hours talking to him on the phone. For a while, I was literally doing just fine with that. I figured it was a penance to pay for being able to spent the rest of my life with him, and for me getting my life in order. But last night I had a big bout of “missing the hell out of him”.

In the spring, he’s taking only one class in the semester, so I’m only guaranteed one night a week to see him. If in fact, I do get a job at Progressive, I may have weekends off to see him. But that’s if I don’t leave [Retail Job], and right now, I just don’t know.

Not too bad. If you have any suggestions for a blog title, feel free to leave me a note.

Not a NaBloPoMo Entry

I’ve been used to tping NaBloPoMo as all of my entry titles, so I had to throw it in this one. I promise, this is the last time I mention NaBloPoMo. Except to say that I didn’t make it to the very end, hence, no prizes. Damn. Like I was saying anything good anyway. That said, hopefully the Randomizer still works so I can surf the blogs on it.

Okay, onto the news that everyone seems to be frothing over: my engagement. Surprisingly, I though that I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, and for the first 24 hours, I did. Now, I’m getting more exposure than I’m used to (surprisingly, I’m a very private person) and I’m just kind of keeping silent. Well, I will be mum after I give some of the basic details.

The Boy asked me to marry him on December 1, at Landoll’s Mohican Castle. The castle was all lit up for Christmas, and there’s a lower patio beneath where you can look up at the tower. I, in my infinite dorkiness, was like, “Good God [Boy], it’s freezing, can we go eat, please.” (I figured he’d ask me at dinner — because yes, I ruined the surprise and knew he was going to ask.) And he’s got my arm, hanging on to me, and launches into his engagement speech.

It was really sweet, watching him try to find all of the “perfect words” while trying to dig in his pocket for the ring box at the same time, while trying to get down on one knee on the cold concrete, and probably, in a puddle.

We split a bottle of Asti over dinner, and I couldn’t stop looking at my bling. Here‘s a picture of what it looks like (except, mine is white gold).

We aren’t planning on getting married in the near future. I can tell you that it will be about two years. In between then, The Boy and I have to [in no particular order or possession]: finish graduate school, get into graduate school, get a full-time job in the career field, move out, find a house, find a town to live in…stuff like that. We’ve got time. His dad was right: these next two years are going to be very busy.

Oh, and I just remembered. I was looking at Fussy’s website to see who won NaBloPoMo Prizes, and she has banners for finishing. I was originally going to pick this one but then I scrolled down and saw a more accurate picture for my efforts, having missed a day:

Oh well, better luck next year, I guess.