NaBloPoMo ’06, Day 7

Today is one of my ex-boyfriend’s birthdays.

When we dated, he played the pity card and said that no one celebrated his birthday, not ever, and all he ever had was shitty birthdays…whine, whine, wine with cheese. Surprise, surprise when his birthday came around and “Oh, it’s a miracle, everyone remembered my birthday!”

I hope someone presents him with a paternity test/lawsuit for this birthday. He’s a jerk. And I’m not sorry.

Well, maybe a little sorry. Karma does indeed, stink.

***

I could wax poetic bigtime about this, but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible. I have a hard time keeping friends. I’m good at making them, sure, I have no problem with that. But I’m very good at shutting them out.

I’ve just been having some friend angst and it’s really bothering me as to how easy it is for me to cut someone out…especially in the wake that I already lack any semblance of a social life (and it doesn’t look like I’m going to have one any time soon).

I just wonder if some of the things that my friends do are acceptable annoyances, and whether others are, and where the difference is. I also have a really hard time opening up to anyone other than The Boy (save a few people, who I think know who they are), about anything personal that matters with me. I don’t like being opened for judgement, and I don’t like being second-guessed…which is something that I feel is happening when I get personal and someone says, “But I thought…”

I like being semi-personal, and not being intimately personal with people. But part of me realizes that if I want close friends, this is what I have to do. And have a longer fuse with people. And be more patient.