November 3, 2006

Friday’s Feast for November 3, 2006
(Note: this is a random feast, as the Hostess has gone on vacation for two weeks.)

Appetizer
What is a word that your family uses that would not be considered common?

  • Puging [pronounced pyoog-ing]. It’s a word that I invented when I was a kid, which is used for “using the computer”.
  • My dad is a bit of a linguist, and there is a lot of word-play as far as coming up with words is concerned. And my mom’s side of the family is really big on nick-names and things of that sort. And, I grew up in a heavily Jewish area, so my speech is littered with Yiddish phrases. I have a lot of words that I use that aren’t considered common.


Soup

What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?

  • I personally don’t have one. But the family’s is a promotional one for my mom’s business which is either Normam Rockwell-themed or has old time cars on it. I’m not really sure since it’s spiral-bound and therefore my parents don’t show the pictures

Salad
Name 3 people you speak with on a daily basis.

  • The Boy. Every single day since the day we started dating, almost four years ago.
  • My mom. But that’s only since I graduated.
  • My dad. Same reason.

Main Course
If you could put a new tattoo on someone you know – who would it be, what would the tattoo be of, and where would you put it on them?

  • I would put it on The Boy, and it would be a khamsa, a Jewish and Muslim symbol of protection, which was referenced to me by a Jewish customer I had at [Grocery Store] as the symbol of God’s hand preventing Abraham from killing Isaac. I would put it on The Boy to keep him safe from harm, and as a reminder that God is always there, no matter what your religiosity, no matter what your spirituality [as neither of us is religious, and I’m not particularly spiritual, but I still believe that God is there]. I would either put it on his chest, over his heart, or in between his shoulders.

Dessert
What is the last beverage you drank out of a glass bottle?

  • It’s been a while, so it was either a “vintage” Coke or a Frappuccino from Starbucks.

November 3, 2006

Having moved to the new house, I really felt good about the fall. At Ashland, despite being “in the country”, there weren’t enough trees close to the campus or to Charlie’s apartment, to actually feel as though I was immersed in my favorite season. In Chester-tucky, the whole development my parents live in is surrounded by trees, and the main road to get to the highway was through the woods. I got to see a lot of color this year; granted, it was mostly yellow (Dad thinks it was a combination of both the temperature and the rainfall), but it was color. Living close to 4 apple orchards also helped bring in the fall spirit.

But I’m really not feeling the winter season. Normally, I really don’t care. But this year, I really feel like I’m lacking, not spending this winter in Ashland. I actually love winter in Ashland, and every time I’m outside and the weather is cold and snowy, I feel that something is missing. In Ashland, one of my favorite things to do come holiday time was drive around the neighborhoods and look at the Christmas lights with Charlie. That, and making up the Christmas cards.

I don’t think that I’ll be doing Christmas cards this year. I can say with a good deal of conviction that this has been the worst year of my life. I have spent other years with a lot more anxiety and more intense moments of anguish; but the anguish has never been dragged out this long, nor has it involved what feels like the most important decisions of my whole life. I’m looking at finding a job in a career I can be proud of, being able to afford all of the bills I will suddenly be paying all by myself come January 31, going to graduate school so I can get the career I want, moving out of my parents house, and how I’m going to cope with becoming engaged when I have a very limited intimate support system.

But how does this relate to no Christmas cards this year? I honestly cannot see myself feeling any sort of holiday cheer, much less wishing to bestow it on my fellow man this Yuletide season. I know that this is a very Grinchly thing to say, but at least I’m being honest about it. I’m trying to be upbeat and positive, but inside, I’m a mess, and I’m starting to become emotionally worn out. I don’t have anything to give to anyone, and I think it would be obviously hollow in my Christmas cards.

I don’t have any real solutions to any of my problems. I think I’ve worn a rut into the mental carpet pacing around up there. I hope that at least this weekend I will get some of the physical things that are weighing on my schema.

In quick GRE news: I did, in fact, start studying. I’m completely horrified at my forgetting of the most basic of math skills (we’re talking I don’t remember how to multiply and divide fractions, even). And of course, I should have started sooner. But at least, in my completely lingual/literate life, at least I have enough experience that I’m not as worried about that section of the GRE as I am the math portion. And, I did learn my lesson from the SAT and am actually studying the material this time around.

So, here’s the moral of this story: the GRE is a test of basic knowledge in math and language, but it expects a collegiate-level working knowledge of writing. Start practicing and studying as soon as you know you want to take the test. $30 for a prep book may seem like a lot of money, but the salary for the job that you got because you have the grad degree from the school of your choice because of the scores eventually pays the book back.