The Boy is back in Ashland, and I’m having a really hard time adjusting. I’m not going to wax poetic about it; because what is there to talk about, other than I’m having a hard time adjusting and my own personal demons are making it worse for me? I think that explains all that needs to be said.
I’ve started drawing and writing again. I’m hoping that I’ll have enough of a body of work that I can actually take both somewhere. As in, actually putting my sketches onto canvas/printmaking paper, and submitting my short fiction/non-fiction to some magazines and hope for the best. As far as submitting to magazines: I’m not going to care about rejection, because my writing has been, and always will be, for my own fantasy fulfillment and mental sorting only. That, and my life’s ambition isn’t about being an accomplished writer. If it happens, it happens. I just miss being lingual.
I still need to work out a plan for taking the GRE and getting into graduate school. It’s been pretty distant, but as of late, realizing I can no longer live here under these circumstances, I need to light a fire under my own ass otherwise, I’m seriously going to pull a Lizzie Borden up in this bitch. Shit, I’ve got the spinster part down!
Please excuse my bitterness, I didn’t mean to let it slip.
Other than that, I’m enjoying the frame shop, I’m hording as many hours as I possibly can.
- To get out of the house and,
- I need the money.
Life is boring other than that. Seriously.
I just got some premature news that the grant proposal for my internship was rejected…and for purely counter-productive reasons. Which, as much as I would like to be annoyed about it, I can’t be: this is how the business world works. And, in a field as neglected as the arts, I might as well learn to take rejection well. And I’m going to throw in an “ignorant buffoons” for good measure, just a bit.
The Boy has gone back to school. He’ll be back on Mondays and Thursdays to take his graduate classes, so I might be having dinner with his family and him two nights a week.
The job at the framing shop is going well. I like it. Still keep your fingers crossed that someone calls me back for that administrative assitant position. I need a really real job.
I started my first day at the framing shop. It’s going to be a lot of fun, I’m excited. Money doesn’t hurt, either.
I think I might have broken/torn a ligament in my toe. I was climbing the stairs yesterday, and the cuff of my pantleg got hooked around my toe, and as I was trying to detangle, I heard something snap. I can’t bend it or flext it. It’s really painful.
If it’s broken, it’s too late to get it X-rayed. So I’m hoping that being hopped up on Naproxen and taping it to my next toe over, hopefully, I’ll be okay.
Oy, still, wish me moprhine thoughts.
I get it that the last message was cryptic.
In short: things aren’t great. But, I want sincerely for them to get better, and a big, big thanks to Erica for her to-the-point words. She was worried about saying them, but they helped, a lot.
I’m working on getting into contact with everyone. It’s a slow process: despite being unemployed, I’m busy with a lot of menial things and don’t have time to sit down and make the friendly niceities that I should. I’ll try to do better.
I’m a teensy bit sad that I won’t be going to Ashland as a student. I’m way sad that I won’t be going back to Ashland as my boyfriend’s girlfriend. It’s awkward and hard, and I’m trying to figure things out to make it work. I just need to come up with a solution.
Keep your fingers crossed, I’m applying for a paying job. I need something. I don’t want to go back to Heinen’s.